What is trauma?

I wonder why some people can compartmentalize emotions and others cannot. I find it interesting that a trauma can cause one person to go insane and another to become a hero. What makes and breaks us?

Bikram's Alexandria, VA

I went to Bikram's in Alexandria. The staff was knowledge and friendly. I arrived about 15 minutes early for the 7:30 pm class. The room was not as hot as most studios I have visited- but trust me it was HOT. The class was a very diverse group-men, women, various ethnicity, ages and levels attended. I brought a first timer with me and he did GREAT! I did not tell him much about Bikram's Yoga only to expect to feel reborn afterward. He did not throw up, passed out or even complain on the ride home- I was impressed.He loved it.
As for me, I tried not to push myself to hard ( that was difficult). I think I fared well considering my injuries...I spoke to the instructor before class informing him of my physical limitation. He was very attentive and understanding. He told me "this is the best thing for you. You'll do fine." That was encouraging. During class he is very hands-on, pausing to help newbies with postures.
If you are in the area and would like to try Bikram's Yoga I would recommend Bikram's in Alexandria.

My journey back to being me

I love hot yoga! Since my trauma I have not been back to Bikram's Yoga and I miss it everyday.I havent been back mostly because I am still in recovery. I had what is called an-open tib/fib break, this mean my tiblua and fiba bones broke out of my skin, Ewww gross I know. I have a metal rod in my leg holding everything together. However,as you mat realize this injury among the many others put a damper on my normally very active lifestyle.
I enjoy running , hiking and yoga and many other activities; they are a big part of my life.I do not plan to ever give them up. I could have one leg and one arm and I still will run, practice yoga and try and hike. My goal since I woke up in Shock Trauma has been to get my life back. My life. I feel it is my right to be able to participate in all the things I use to. It helps me ignore the pain, ignore the scars, ignore all the reminders that someone tried to take my life. It reminds me that I won. ( I am somewhat competitive)
I urge anyone that is a survivor of trauma- no matter what type of trauma it is- to get back to doing YOU ASAP. The smallest activity you can resume will shorten your road to full emotional, psychological, spiritual recovery. The physical part is up to you also, it just take more work . If you learn to believe in self-healing, you will come to understand its power.
On my journey back to me I plan to help survivor heal by showing them how I went from victim to survivor. How a person can heal themselves by looking inside first.
Anyway I got off track, I tend to do that. Back to yoga
I plan to visit and take classes at all the Bikram Yoga Studios in my area. I will start on Monday February 22,2010. I will tell you all about my experience. I have some pretty nasty scars on my back,legs, hips and stomach.( that the other reason have not been back) I wonder how yogi's will react to them.I find Bikram Yogi's to be less focused or external appearances and more focused on the practice. We shall see. Like I said I love yoga! So I am going back regardless. I hope they are ready! Boy this should be interesting.

From the Daily Press. The full letter of Joe Stack

The tragic actions of Joe Stack is evidence of a man in trauma. He lived in a constant state of struggle and self torture. All this could have been avoided if he had the tools needed to thirve.
That is my goal to encourage us to move away from a life of anger and hostility towards one of tranquility and love. Mr. Sack just wanted to be heard. That is why he wrote a seven page manifesto.
He speaks of capitalism as a great evil that is here to keep American is consumer bondage. The anger and sadness he felt is real. The rage could have been tame if he looked outside of himself and saw all the beauty the world has to offer. Some people chose to walk away from wealth in order to pursue true happiness. While others pursue wealth in order to obtain happiness. The Key is balance. That is what we are striving for that can prevent these type of tragedies.
Read what he wrote:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/02/18/2010-02-18_austin_plane_crash_full_text_joe_stack_manifesto_posted_on_website_embeddedartco.html

I was intended on telling you about my injuries....

I woke up to a shit load of injuries. I could not move my legs. My arms felt like jelly. My injuries were from head to toe. I am still in litigation form this trauma so I cannot post too much information on the happenings of that horrible night.
I will list my most relevant injuries just to give you an understanding.
Almost every bone in my face was broken except my lower jaw. My orbital floor was crushed I now have a titanium mesh hold up my right eye. I have tiny screws and pieces of metal in my face. Gosh...its hard to even talk about. The list of broken bones is so long I realize now I don't even want to go into it. Remember: this is not a pity party! :)
Maybe later. I just want you to know that this has been a long difficult journey. But I promise you that not a day has gone by that I did not smile! Not one. The reason I want to stress this is because you should know without a shadow of a doubt that YOU are in control of you. It take time and practice but you can heal yourself. You can be happy everyday of your life. You canlive the life you want, a life filled with love and joy.
Till next again
put in a happy face

Relax! It's Wednesday

Monday and Tuesday are hustle days of the week for some of us.By Wednesday we feel tight and stressed out! Here are three quick steps one can use to bring yourself back to center.
1. Inhale deeply through your nose allowing your belly to become full with air( it should poke out)
2. Visual a yourself feeling at peace and relaxed. ( you can use a place or idea also)
3.Exhale as slowly as you can pushing the air out through your mouth ( you belly should contract)
Do this as many time as you can before return to your daily task. Imagine every muscle in your body is releasing all tension with each breathe. This many seem easy but it will take some practice. Try it.

Shock Trauma

Waking up in the hospital was the most terrifying experience I have ever had. I was cold, scared, and to my knowledge-alone.The room was dark and quiet.I could not move anything but my eyeballs. I tried to tell myself this was a nightmare and I would wake up at any moment.
What was more frightening was the fact I could not see anything!
The smell and sounds of the room were unfamiliar. I tried to move my legs. They would not move. I tried to move my arms. "What? Am I dead?" My heart raced 100 mph. Suddenly,I could hear the beeping of machines around me. Whew! OK OK I'm not dead.
Oh my GOD! What is going on?
I heard voices...laughter... the sound of footstep approaching. I have been kidnapped! oh god Kaya get up! RUN!(yes, I am a dramatic at times)
I heard footsteps approaching.I could tell from the sound the persons was walking on A doctor? No white coat. A nurse. He spoke to me. I think he said " you are in the hospital. You have been hurt, Everything is okay. Calm down". I could feel the tears trying to form in my eyes but nothing would come out. Why? I could not speak. A tube was down my throat. A could not move my head because of the collar. Am I paralyzed?
The nurse:
You are in Shock Trauma. Your family is here. Everything is alright.
Me:
why am I in Shock Trauma?
but it came out,
shaah ahm aaa stwaaa caah ( my jaws were wired shut)
The nurse: I can't understand you honey.
Me:
Oh chit!
He told me to try not to moved as he tighten straps around my body.

Once again my seems to beat out of my chest. At this point I took control of my SELF. I went deep inside myself and like that I gained composure. Since that moment, I have use this technique as well as other to bring my self back to center. I wasn't scared anymore, still I knew my journey had just begun.